I was (and am) thrilled with my new Chevy Traverse. It’s beautiful and sparkly and mine. And I made it happen!
But I avoided telling my parents.
I thought my dad would be so disappointed with me for upgrading. That my actions of releasing my hatchback (a gift from him) meant I was rejecting his love. That he would somehow see me as ungrateful.
I really feared that my new car, the one that made me feel so happy and good, would damage our relationship.
Here’s what actually happened: my parents were over-the-moon thrilled for me.
Like many other entrepreneurial women in my life, my parents have only a vague understanding about what I do. They know I use video to talk to creative women who live across the USA. They know sometimes I bring those women together in person to “work on their businesses.” They know I work from home and think I have seemingly endless “vacation time.” And that’s about where the understanding ends.
For them, my ability to purchase a new vehicle provided tangible assurances that I did have a real business and thus, a legitimate way of earning money that was acceptable to a bank.
To them, it meant I’d “arrived” at a place where I could actually take care of myself. (Cue that song, “Hey look ma I made it!”)
They got a bit of internal peace that I wouldn’t end up on their doorstep with all my earthly possessions loaded into my 14-year-old car, asking to move into their guest room.
So, you see what happened? The thing I was so afraid of–telling them about my new car purchase–actually resulted in a nearly opposite set of outcomes.
Here’s the thing… this happens to all of us. Probably more often than we care to admin. We work ourselves up, create these imaginary conversations, and in turn, fuel unnecessary fear.
And almost all the time, it’s a perceived fear, not an actual reality of the situation.
We imagine outcomes and scenarios that don’t take into account that others may not be experiencing things the way that we are.
In my example, I was worried that my parents were thinking I was rejecting them and saying I didn’t appreciate their gift. That somehow by replacing an item that was no longer serving me, I was ungrateful and possibly even materialistic.
The reality is that through the purchase they found a way to understand my work and confirm its legitimacy. They recognized my hard work and celebrated the achievement. They were thrilled I was able to provide for my family in such a big way.
Fear does funny things to us. It prevents us from speaking up. It holds us back, safe in the devil we know instead of venturing off to have a conversation with the devil we don’t know.
We don’t realize that the last time we came around that particular brand of fear, we were different people. We had different skill sets and hadn’t built up the muscle that we have now.
The pull of wanting to move on, upgrade, do something more…yet you resist playing bigger or avoid telling someone your good news…?
Know that you are worthy and you deserve everything. That fear is only trying to protect you and your emotions from a future hurt that may not even be real.
Share a recent win with someone – really celebrate it! Chances are, they will be thrilled for you.