When I coach my clients, we often talk about getting out of your own way in order to find success. It’s something every entrepreneur goes through many times throughout the lifecycle of their business.
Even the most seasoned, confident entrepreneurs will have a moment that comes along and makes them whisper, “Can I do that?” So, if you’re feeling that way too, know that you aren’t alone!
There are a few ways to tell if you’re getting in your own way and, more importantly, how to address and move past those feelings so you can step into your success story.
Procrastination of Select Items
Procrastination happens to all of us. And usually, there’s a deeper cause contributing to the procrastination. Examining that underlying issue is where you can identify areas you might be getting in your own way.
If something truly doesn’t excite your or seem important enough to cause you a sense of immediacy to perform that task, that procrastination could be a sign to outsource or just move that task off your list. Why make yourself feel guilty for something that isn’t important to your sense of success or happiness?
However, if there is something big on your to-do list, like applying to speak at a conference or creating a course, that never gets checked off, that could be a sign that you don’t feel confident you can do it. Then, you don’t book it and the can keeps getting kicked down the road — or transferred from list to list!
HOW TO GET OUT OF YOUR WAY
Perhaps you feel like you don’t have the expertise or you’ve created the story that you aren’t worthy to share that information. You know, that idea of, “Who am I to do this”? It’s time to nix that real quick!
The most effective way I’ve found to guide my gals through this period is to quantify the expertise you have. Make a comprehensive list of everything you’ve done. This includes: Going to college, reading books, going to conferences, taking courses, listening to podcasts… Basically everything you’ve done to acquire the knowledge you have.
Total up the money and time investments you’ve put into yourself. Then, when you go back to your list and say, “Who would ever believe I have what it takes to teach this?” you have concrete examples that you have made the effort to put in the hours to acquire that skill. There’s your proof of expertise and roadmap to moving around the roadblock you created.
Success Tip: Total up the dollar amount or number of hours that’s gone into everything you’ve done to prepare for your genius work. Refer back to this when you question your expertise!
Declaring Failure Before You Even Start
Another tell-tale sign that you’re standing in the way of your own success is declaring failure before you begin. You’ll plan out all the end pieces and reasons you can’t do something before even trying it.
Recently, I worked with a gal who was writing the story of failure for a future project. She couldn’t believe that she had what it would take to be a successful coach. In fact, she didn’t even want to do any kind of future visioning or dreaming because she was so solid in her belief that she had planned out the end before trying anything.
What I drew out of her was that she thought she’d have to change her entire personality to be a successful coach and she didn’t want to do that.
The story she told herself was that in order to be successful, she had to travel and speak from stages and take her clients on luxury retreats. In her mind, that was a successful coach. Because she didn’t want to be that way, she told herself she could never be a coach.
To her, pursuing a coaching path meant she had to abandon her current self and her principles. How she currently exists isn’t “good enough” and she could never be a coach because coaches are these big, commanding, jet-setting people.
So, she was fearful of creating a future vision because she thought that meant giving up who she was. She already wrote the ending before even trying it.
HOW TO GET OUT OF YOUR WAY
You future self is still you. I know, that’s a simple yet challenging idea to grasp, especially if you’re just thinking about it for the first time.
With my client, we moved to the place where she accepts that her Future Self is still her, it’s just allowing her to create more impact. That helped her relax into the very next step.
If you’re facing this challenge, ask yourself HOW you could take a step in the next direction. Perhaps you have to do some mindset work. Maybe you’ll want to hire support.
Whatever it is, take on small step towards releasing the vision where you THINK you know the ending and get curious instead.
Allowing External Influences To Feel Stronger Than Your Own North Star
It’s true when they say you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. If most of them live lives they aren’t happy with or constantly complain about circumstances in their lives instead of taking steps to change them, it’s easy to start thinking that way as well.
Think about friends and family who discourage your dreams or cast doubt. There’s always that one person “just playing devil’s advocate.” It makes you want to scream, “Can’t you ever support me, even once?!”
They aren’t bad people, but you have to be in charge of who you associate with, what you feed yourself and your mind, and notice when external forces feel louder than your own guiding principles.
Think about it: garbage in means garbage out. It’s about association and content consumption. Negative consumption can put messages into your brain that will keep you in this place.
HOW TO GET OUT OF YOUR WAY
This is a simple one: stop feeding yourself those negative messages! Like Henry Ford said: Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.
I know, it’s easier said than done, especially if you can’t disassociated from certain people. That said, it is an essential part of moving out of your own way and living your full success story. Whatever comes into your psyche are the messages your brain will absorb and believe. You don’t need to absorb negative messages and get bogged down in it.
So, cut out that negative chatter like it’s making your body sick — because it is. Close down your entrepreneurial circle of trust to one or two uplifting folks, post mantras and inspiring messages around your home, detox who you’re following on Instagram, and be extremely mindful of what you’re consuming for both body and soul.
Getting out of your own way feels easier said than done in a few places. It’s hard to change your lifestyle and be self-aware of bad habits. The more often you do it, the easier it’ll get. Then, when you find that you’re doubting yourself, reverting to negative habits, and feeling like you’re getting in your own way, you can quickly recalibrate back to a harmonious state.
Have you ever found yourself getting stuck in these areas? Perhaps there’s another way for you to tell when you’re getting in your own way. How do you remove yourself from that mindset? Share with us in the comments so we can learn from each other!